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The Family Nobody Wanted

Sunday, December 19, 2010

11:54PM - Community for Frontal or Temporal Lobe Brain Injury

Hello all,

There wasn't a community geared toward being supportive of those affected by frontal or temporal lobe brain injury, so I recently created one.

Here is a synopsis of the community:
WHO is this community for? People affected by frontal or temporal lobe traumatic brain injury (tbi) in one or more of the following ways: has a frontal or temporal tbi, interact with someone who has that, relevant medical professionals, students, and those simply interested in making a positive difference in the lives of those affected by that.
WHAT are this community's goals? Bringing individuals together to communicate with each other, discuss relevant topics, and share resources, support, and inspiration.

The community is located at http://community.livejournal.com/front_tmprl_tbi . I look forward to seeing you there. If you have any questions, please feel free to drop me a note.

Kind regards,

(Show Me Your Hands)

Friday, October 22, 2010

8:52PM - so,,,,

I have a few songs stuck in my head from the past few weeks.

most of them by Hinder. Better than Me.  Evenesence Immortal etc

done with living.  tired of the lies and pretending to live.  If I had one wish, it would be to "see whats on the other side of life"  Don't want to experience what life has for me next.  This life sux.  No one cares, everyone acts like they want to keep you around but never call.  its all BS and I'm tired of it and tired of "being there" for people who dont really want you around.

(Show Me Your Hands)

Sunday, February 7, 2010


Age: 25
Disorders: Non-epileptic seizures, insomnia. In the past, I've been diagnosed with depression, Bipolar disorder, and anxiety.
Habits: I smoke over a pack of cigarettes a day, smoke weed whenever I'm not at work, and abuse sleeping pills in order to fall asleep.
Other: I've had a history of sexual abuse since I was 6 years old. My grandfather, some boys from class, a male "friend",  and a female "friend", and an ex boyfriend. My mother stuck to emotional abuse and mind games. I've been free of all of them for a couple years now.
Comments/Tangents: I just want to be normal. I want to have a normal intimate relationship.

(1 Love To Scream | Show Me Your Hands)

Sunday, December 13, 2009

4:18PM - ??

How do you cope with the knowledge of at least 2 *accidents* have occurred in your life where you should have most certainly died, yet lived?

Current mood: confused

(2 Love To Scream | Show Me Your Hands)

Friday, June 26, 2009


There doesn't seem to be an awful ton of activity here...but I still wanted to post.

Name: Christina
Age: 23
Disorders: Diagnosed bipolar, social anxiety, and narcolepsy. Also may have borderline personality disorder, but won't be tested for that until next week at my psychiatrist appointment.
Habits: Nothing interesting enough to mention.
Comments/Tangents: That's about it for now, though I have to say that I really wish I could find a freaking community for narcolepsy. :(

(2 Love To Scream | Show Me Your Hands)

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

5:30PM - yeah i told her

and then she blamed all on the devil
and we ended up praying for like 20 minutes...

and she said that she'd take me to the doctor and then she didnt do it.
but sometime in the next few weeks she's gonna get married to her bf.

and im here saying WTF! i thought you'd help me. not buy me some stupid vitamins and leave me here to fend for myself.
and she wants to go on walks but i really dont wanna do that. i dont like talking to her. never have
never will.

this was a rare occasion. and for her to leave me like that is not fair.

i abhor her once again.

(4 Love To Scream | Show Me Your Hands)

Friday, April 10, 2009

6:07PM - fuck it alll!!!

i'm just giving up on everything!
cos nobody's here!
nobody cares
i wanna cut soooo bad and
i want it to dig uber deep into my arm....

i wanna feel pain!!!!

i deserve it.

Current mood: i hate myself

(Show Me Your Hands)

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

8:04PM - umm so today....

today was a waste.
i did nothing,
i ate nothing,
i sat there, crying while playing Okami<3
and i'm really starting to think that there is more wrong with me than just a small form of depression and a cutting addiction.
cos the other day,
i was in the kitchen and my mom had just gotten home and was apologizing for yelling at us,
and my head was spinning and i just started crying and i felt like i just wanted to die and then i was crying really loud and then i ran in my room and grabbed my blade from my dismantled pencil-sharpener (haha so ghetto, but it sure does the job)
and i cut away. my thighs are completely covered, and i'm so afraid to tell my bf, but hes the only one there for me,

even though he pretty much hates me cos i'm "too crazy."
i really dont have any one to talk to...
nobody can know, or else.
i cant tell my mom, cant tell her that her perfect daughter(so she thought)
has finally fallen from grace.
it would hurt her,
which i really dont care about,
but i care about it all being spread around my family, church, school, everywhere!!!
there will be people i dont even know, knowing about "how ellie went crazy and tries to off herself..."
i dont wanna deal with that.

(5 Love To Scream | Show Me Your Hands)

Sunday, April 5, 2009

4:11PM - HA---and i thought i was getting better.

im just a stupid f***, right?
i dont deserve to live anymore,
{i really wanna break my streak}
i dont care about anything right now.
i wanna die.
nobody would really care anyway,
cos nobody's here for me.
my life is teetering on the edge
and i'm about to fall over and DIE.

(4 Love To Scream | Show Me Your Hands)

Friday, April 3, 2009

5:55PM - umm yay?

i think i might be getting better...
not with the whole eating thing,
that still sux,
but with the whole big "S" thing.
it's been 2 weeks to the day that i havent touched my blades.
and though the voices still haunt me everyday,
i somehow evade the thought.
i am getting weak, though i wanna be strong.
and i really wanna get rid of this vice.
but nobody knows, so there's nobody there to help me....
ugh..... help.

(Show Me Your Hands)

Friday, January 2, 2009

7:02PM - Intro

Name: Riveteer
Age: 23
Disorders: Undiagnosed, Refuses Help - Self Diagnosed Borderline Erotomanaic and Manic Depressive
Habits: Overeating, Obsessive Behaviors, Highly Judgemental & Suspicious, Egomania
Ailments: Stalking
Comments/Tangents: I can help myself... someday.

Current mood: sick

(Show Me Your Hands)

Thursday, November 27, 2008

11:43PM - hiya...

hey... um my name's ellie...
im 16... and i know a lot how you all feel. things are goin purty crazy in my life...
i think i have anemia. im prolly anorexic. im purty sure i am. i go like---weeks... without eating.
and i know its bad, i just am never hungry. and when i do actually eat, i eat like maybe something small like an uber-small granola bar but thats like all i eat in a day.
the doctors really dont know what's wrong with me... but im always sick. and theres like a ginormous hole in my bone and they did CT scans and MRI's up the wazoo... but they still arent sure. they say that the hole/cist/tumor ( whatever you may call it ) has been there for a while.
i dunno, but im kinda scared.
and plus im sure that i need some psychology, but nobody believes what i say. they all think that when i say that i think i am mentally unstable they call me like a hypochondriac or something. they say that im over-exxagerating....
i dunno. you'd think i was like possesed. i keep contemplating suicide, and i think of it pretty much all the time. i have a great life, adn i dont know why i should be so sad.

i dunno.
im scared. and alone. and i just dont know....

Current mood: contemplative

(Show Me Your Hands)

Friday, July 25, 2008



Age: 16

Depression, Bulimia, Anxiety

Cutting? Picking at my nails, picking scabbs, staying up all hours of the night doing what ever the hell amuses me, hurting the people who love me, pushing people away...
not sure if the last two are habbit or defence.

All started about 2-3 years ago, I had enough brain to take myself to a counsellor (age 14) because I knew something was wrong. She helped but my symptoms got too severe and she had to contact my parents, hell broke out and i got punished, pretty much for trying. So I went 2 years alone and only now, still feeling the same as when I was 14, taken myself back to a counsellor because nothing has changed, if anything worsened.
Feel free to add me, usually i will add you back

(1 Love To Scream | Show Me Your Hands)

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

9:22PM - what to do...

All I want to do is run & hide from the world but i cant...
I have a job that i have to go to...
Friends that act as if they care about me or what im thinking or feeling...
Family that expects me to be an adult & be successful in life...

I hate it ALL!!

Current mood: guilty

(1 Love To Scream | Show Me Your Hands)

8:33PM - introductions...


SI-Cutting, Ana, occassional Insomnia
anything sharp that will make me bleed
started cutting @ age 10

Current mood: blank

(1 Love To Scream | Show Me Your Hands)

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